It isn’t fair at all!
In this modern era of supposed “gender equality”, why are domestic chores still considered “women’s work?” Why is there an imbalance when it comes to keeping your home clutter and dirt-free?
I’ve read this very sad stat today: Disagreements about household chores are the reason why around 30 % of newly divorced people end their relationships.
It sounds crazy, but it feels natural that someone else’s messes can drive you crazy as hell.
Women will see the messes and chaos and will try everything to keep spaces clean. Men, on the other hand, will pretend as if there are no dirty socks on the floor, no wet towels in the bathroom, no unwashed dishes in the sink and no plastic wrappers drifting to the carpet – just like dogs that prefer to roll in poop. And, don’t get me started on their “ability” to toss clothes around. Clothes would be shoved, kicked, rolled onto their side but never put away. It would have been easier for them to just reach up and put away those sweaty, smelly clothes in the washing machine, but instead they had to step around them, willfully ignoring them for a few days.
This, however, is not the norm for all men. You’ve got a few who can clean like a pro, cook like a chef and make an ideal house husband. Your husband could be one of them. The key is to stop the nagging and whining and adopt a rational approach.
Talk to Your Spouse
This orthodox dynamic – that of men relaxing while women carrying the absolute brunt of housework – still exists in some places today because of cultural upbringing. If your spouse was raised in a family where the plate of all domestic duties was given to his mother, you will have to go a really long way to explain why he shouldn’t just sit back and watch you take care of the housework.
It will take time, but make him understand that your role is not that of a housekeeper only and you also need him to help around the house.
Some useful tips for a more proactive approach:
- Do not start the discussion when he or both are you are coming home from a long, tiring day at work. Find the perfect time to talk to him when he is in a great mood. For example, schedule a date or grab some wine at home and slowly pull in the subject into the conversation.
- Do not take a bossy tone of voice with him, as he might shut you down like a kid.
- Speak about how you appreciate what he is already doing for the house and the family.
Give Your Husband Incentives to Clean
I forgot who said that man is in essence a greedy being, but if you want your husband to clean out his closets, it will cost more than just a sweet smile.
I’m not talking about a wad of cash – even if it’s the greatest incentive for them – but more about catering to his likes and obsessions. If your man loves books – one in a million, nope, make it a billion – or collects watches, use that weakness of his.
And, as his wife, you’ll know his other “weaknesses” or his obsessions with “toys”, so use that to your advantage.
Don’t Set Any Cleaning Standards
Your definition of “clean” might mean something different to him. Your cleaning expectations will differ, so don’t try to convince him to match your cleaning standards.
Stop Controlling Everything
Women, it’s time to face our weakness: we love to control every damn thing.
If he’s not folding clothes properly or polishing the furniture in the wrong way, let it be. If you keep on correcting him, the next time, he won’t even bother helping you out.
So, let him do it his own way and with time, he’ll learn.